Through perseverance and endurance builds character – Jennifer Lee aka Tokimonsta shares her battle with brain disease.
Gaining international recognition for her kinetic, atmospheric hip-hop music, Jennifer Lee aka Tokimonsta returns to Sydney this weekend as part of her 2018 world tour.
Having recently released a powerful video for her new single “I Wish I Could” featured on her new album Lune Ruge, Toki takes an en route avoiding the conventional with a raw music video. After recovering from two major brain surgeries which left her unable to comprehend words, sounds and movement Toki’s journey has helped curate her sense of character and uniqueness which is evident throughout her experimental style of music – along with the purpose to express her journey by communicating emotion through music.
“It means a lot to me to finally put visuals to a song that is so significant to me. After undergoing two brain surgeries and being unable to create, this song was the very first song I was able to complete upon my recovery,” says Tokimonsta
Watch the video below:
The compelling visuals directed by Mitchell deQuilettes emphasise a tale of redemption that brings awareness to America’s current medical conditions of cramped hospitals and underserved patients through the eyes of an overworked woman.
During some of what had been the darkest times in her life, Tokimonsta had persevered after being diagnosed with a rare brain disease called moyamoya. The condition had left two large holes on either sides of her brain, which limited her capability of processing words, sounds and movement.
“I couldn’t talk or understand speech. I could still think thoughts, but all the words I knew were gone. I even tried texting people and my texts were complete gibberish. It was almost like suddenly I spoke a different language than everyone else. I’m a fairly chatty person, and to take that facility away was just a visceral pain. But the worst part was that I couldn’t understand any kind of music whatsoever. It didn’t sound right.” Explains Tokimonsta
Growing up in a strict upbringing Toki’s mum encouraged her to practice playing the piano. Although piano lessons didn’t allow for Toki’s creativity, she acknowledges her piano lessons had helped create a foundation for her interest in software music production. Later in life, as a student, Toki was introduced to fruityloops, by a friend who suggested she would enjoy the platform, long before software music production received the praise it gets today. Never conforming to the norm, Toki took this on and discovered her new profound love for making music. Using the program, she was able to freely express her creativity. Whilst figuring herself out in her early 20’s and later working as an accountant for a computer game company, one thing that remained and never changed was Toki’s passion towards music. She later attended Red Bull Music Academy, and was the first woman to sign to Flying Lotus’ Brainfeeder Label.
When the time came during her diagnosis and hearing music sounding like white noise, you can imagine the confusion and frustration one would feel on their own. Toki struggled to express her emotions. She endeavoured to put sentences together being only capable of saying one worded answers such as “pain” or “sad” to describe how she was feeling. Not being able to communicate through words she focused on getting better as the only immediate response other than giving up. This encouraged Toki to gain perseverance and pushed her to her limits, limits she didn’t know she existed.
“It can be a very dark time. The thing that got me through my experience is problem solving, I didn’t have time to really worry. As soon as I was diagnosed I was given the option of where you can probably die or get the surgery…for me incremental improvements were a sign to me that everything was going to be okay.”
Through her motivation to survive, Toki slowly gained parts of herself back and taught herself to speak and comprehend sound. Using music as a creative platform to express her emotion and experience, not long after her surgery (3 months to be exact) Toki got up on stage and performed to a 15-20000 crowd at Coachella. At this point no one had known about her trauma nor did she have any intention to share her experience with anyone.
Post-Coachella, Toki continues to take on the world with her performances at St Jerome’s Laneway festival and Australian sideshows. You can catch her inspirational performances at any one of these shows
TOKiMONSTA AUSTRALIAN TOUR DATES
Thursday 8 February | Manning Bar, Sydney NSW W/ special guests Diola, Jade Le Flay and Milan
Friday 9 February | Max Watt’s, Melbourne VIC W/ special guests Jordan Dennis, Ojikae and Jade Zoe + PERFORMING AT ST JEROME’S LANEWAY FESTIVAL
