Bedecked in their finest attire and adorned in their loftiest airs and graces, Hollywood royalty and actual British royalty mingled on the grounds of Windsor Castle and Frogmore House last Saturday for the latest wedding of the century, as Prince Harry wedded actress Meghan Markle. Markle’s two wedding looks certainly won the day, and while others tried their best — some seemed not to try at all.

THE BAD AND THE UGLY

Whilst technically within the royal dress code (suits or uniforms for men; dresses and ridiculous hats for women), some guests showed that traditional just isn’t gonna cut it anymore. Princess Anne’s maroon-and-burgundy ensemble evoked images of Nanny McPhee while Karen Spencer’s odd purple mini-cape and extravagant fascinator made her look like the Wicked Queen in Snow White and Camilla Parker Bowles’ fascinator looked like the collection of used tissues that have been littering my floor this flu season.

Usually the picture of sassy elegance, Posh Spice kept things rather bland; looking like she missed the nuptials and instead jumped straight to the obsequies.

In what appears to be a lovely show of solidarity between A-listers from all corners of the globe, nearly every male guest showed up in some sort of basic, boring tux. A few here and there jazzed up the look and gave it a right royal touch with a traditional morning suit, which seems to translate to unflattering stripy pants and coat-tails.

THE WANNABE SCENE - STEALERS

While many men failed to impress, David Beckham outshone wife Victoria for once, and was one of the few male standouts as he sported Dior Homme.

Apart from the blushing bride herself, major highlights included human rights lawyer Amal Clooney, who was a beam of sunshine in golden yellow Stella McCartney, with husband George tagging along like an eager-to-please prom date with his coordinated yellow tie and pocket square. Actress Carey Mulligan continued the spring tones in a floaty, floral-embroidered Erdem dress.

Although most kept it traditional outfit-wise, a few actually looked 2018-royal-wedding-worthy. Princess Eugenie embodied Jackie Kennedy 60s-chic in a powder-blue Gainsbourg dress, pillbox hat and silver pumps. Also, I’m not sure what the royal protocol is on calling the Queen cute, but HRH Elizabeth II certainly looked so, with an adorable below-the-knee coat in a fun shade of lime green and her iconic little black bag clasped between her gloved hands.

THE STAR

Designed by Givenchy’s first female artistic director, Clare Waight Keller, the new Duchess of Sussex’s wedding dress was the epitome of royal bridal elegance; from the pure white silk to the stunning bateau neckline. It could’ve done with a touch better construction – you’d think a couple of hundred thousand dollars would buy you something that fit perfectly – but that didn’t matter, because the real show-stealer was the veil. An insane yet enviable five-metre long silk tulle affair, it was hand-embroidered with flowers from each of the 53 Commonwealth countries. Meghan may never officially be a princess, but she sure as hell looked like one as she glided down the aisle with her best meek-but-beautiful smirk.

For her reception, Meghan changed into a more relaxed Stella McCartney gown – and by relaxed, we mean a dress without a train that would fill the entire dance floor on its own. The high-necked halter dress, made of silk crepe, was a breath of fresh air: a super modern look which finally seems to have brought the royal family into the 21st century.

If only some of the guests had gotten the memo – we’re looking at you, every member of the royal family over 50. Here’s hoping that in the couple of decades they have before the next big wedding, they’ll have learned.